Day one of mid semester break. started the day with 13 hrs of sleep this is more then what I normally get over a 5day period. Not bad but I think maybe too So before this week ends like most others I have a lot of school work to go through not because it has to be done [well yes] but because I want to finish it with time to reflect on it before I submit it. Studies requires that I submit something.....the topic be related to sustainability.....My approach is to forecast into the psychology of consumerism. Yeah, why? it isn't gonna change a thing. So I'm frustrated by this because day by day I look around and am flooded by the lazyness of people [not all] but a good number of people just don't seem to care. Things such as having a cigarette next to a trash bin and not placing it in there after woods but rather to flick onto the ground.... Or eating food in public places it’s like the food packaging is a bio hazard! I'm realising now two things what sort of person am I and how I contribute to the greater scheme of things? What sort of a designer will I be? Should these be separate roles or should they be one and the same? Well I'd like to think that I contribute positively to consumerism and a more sustainable practice of life encompassing many types of philosophies, though I fear that no matter how pure actions are they eventually are corrupted by greed and money. Like when did things become so complicated or lost or have they always been this way and I have been so blind to see. If I was to transform my ideas and thoughts at present into some form of theatre I'd dare say it would be fairly grim and confused... I enjoy the spoils of digital technology but I detest at which rate we consume them, like the manufactures so smartly drip feed the capability of technology but deceive the masses with new form and features almost on a daily basis and we [the masses] can't get enough. It’s like we are happy to pay for nothing. This is also relies much on groups such as rebels, originals, conformists and Individuals. Like it’s nice to be able to have a multi functional media communication medium that is intuitive, sexy and small. On the other hand It's also nice to do the old prehistoric things of taking an SLR camera and shooting some pics then not knowing what you have done till the negatives have been processed you could even take part in that activity not have someone else do it for you. Maybe I'm just repeating a lot of what other people have said, though nothing seems to change. Where it bothers me is that I'm studying in an area that holds so much for me as I love to play with form and material science. So I can add to problem of repacking nothing or stand on my morals and not partake in it...More so do I add to the problem or offer new perspectives? I'm free of everything but yet I feel valid only with borders and regulations.

Ok where to begin... who cares just start. My semester is drawing to a close but the Rollercoaster I'm on seems to have only started. I'm sitting here anticipating the big dip, followed by a few loops some secondary dips and lots of fast paced wind blowing travel. Then I think I don't want to come to the end of it all and I'll try my utmost to do so. Though truly enough all good things come to and end. STOP! Ahh well if I stop I will simply say thank you and have some memories but more so, the best I can do is put it out of mind and continue along with clear head space and no expectations of the next ride I will encounter. I'm so mixed in my thoughts currently that I can't even pick the words of what I want to say but strangely enough I can't consol this with my emotions. Let me be clear here. I’m falling back to old ways of concerning my self about my marks status and that I have to do well, though I'm not travelling along anymore but rather I’m experiencing, such joy it brings me. I look back and see that my ride ended a while ago though I have failed to realise it and it’s up to me to walk along to the next one. So what am I waiting for, I have all the time in world contrary to what I keep telling my self. I fear that I will never get it, but I'm starting to apply my past experiences which is cool though my downfall is lack of discipline to commit wholly, WHY? Solution, take a blind leap and half way through open my eyes and look around. This would help to eliminate wrong doings such as assumptions, expectations and pre-assessment it should allow me to experience. I have to many clocks and gauges to measure my out comes why can I not look to be more concerned about my influences should this not help me to subconsciously achieve an outcome. REALISATION the outcome is only a reflection of me and my journey. Me is only a make up of what I search for, try, experience, inhale, absorb at least I think!! Maybe, I shouldn't think...... detach from outcomes they will occur naturally. Invest in my journey this is the fun part. Out come= end= get over it. Input=start=fun=learning= experience=stimulation=..........

ENOUGH

Ok we are coming in to the end of another year at RMIT and we are sprinting there weather we want to or not. So my instant thoughts are sh*t I have to finish my assignments to pass and progress to the next round. Yeah sure I can dig this. What I'm really happy about, is that I'm successfully detaching away from desired grades and following the brief literally but rather getting into what I enjoy doing. I discovered that early last week I think I realised a big piece of my life. For the last year and a half I have battled through close to 10 jobs all in the name of staying financial while at uni. This whole process has been plagued with stress and frustration, my thoughts always about paying rent and having enough to eat and afford some smokes. I finally think I have found a place of employment that will offer all that I require, good pay, job security, study time and good atmosphere. I got my first pay and needless to say I was able to go out and drink me some coopers pale ale [ok maybe allot] by the way SAVE COOPERS. Soumitri you should help here they are a family owned company that has a brewing establishment for about a century and a half which originated in South Australia. Let’s not let them be taken over by Lion Nathan a multinational Entity. I'll try and drink a case a day are you with me??? Back to my story, save COOPERS! So I admit that I have lost interest in my job and wasn't sure why, I have already been warned about my performance [5wks into my job]. It finally hit me. Yes, I like making money but I like achievement a whole lot more. After knowing that I have funds to live comfortably my frustration and stress were replaced by emptiness. Not until my group and I successfully had prototyped our Zen rider into 3D form did I realise that I am most happy when I'm working on the things that interest me weather I get paid or not. I just love doing the work I'm being asked to do as an Industrial Designer or there about...funnily enough I'm actually paying to do this. What I want to say is that no matter what, you always somehow find away to pay the bills and get through each day and this easy though unrewarding. If you can think about making the most of your day by taking risks with what you believe in, invest yourself in what you love doing and be true and most importantly expel all of your crap. Something so amazing will be conceived and you will walk away with the greatest feeling of achievement. Espeacially when we are at Uni we don't have alot at stake, the teaching staff are doing the same but are gambling with their jobs. We have flexibillity here and [yes] we are in control and what do we stand to loose if we fail? nothing, we learn. We will loose if we don't even bother with it. I love doing Industrial Design. I enjoy where I’m employed and the job is ok but it isn't ID and it will not satisfy me. I look around I think see that other people may be going through the same process or already have. I encourage you to at least think!!! If you are unsure or feel the same or anything at all. I suggest you go and speak to Carl. You have to find him first but I think he is testament to doing what he loves and his output although not finished is pretty amazing. He is doing what he loves and this is evident. [rock on dude]. Otherwise have a chat with me.... So get on with it I know I am