Its been a too long between blogs. This could answer some of the congestion in my head. Finally out of the last month i have been able to sleep for more then four uninterrupted hours its about 6-7 hours now, makes me happy though strangely enough I miss my stressful sleep routine.... I'm winding down for the year in terms of required school work and shifting my focus on what i want to learn over the holidays, I still feel so negative about my works this year the usual feelings of fake, to shiny and bla bla bla.. Dominate my thoughts. I converse with my peers and share the same heartache of uncertainty of the decisions we have made and where we are going to be. Will I ever be successful at what I love? I enjoy designing products, but that is only a quick fix. Its like having a cigarette break , you step out of the intensity of a situation, you allow your subconscious to give you some answers, add some light to the dark and guide you through .The cigarette is more about breathing and t thinking then not. You get back to the seriousness again, your relaxed and you have some clear thoughts of what has to be done and so you perpetuate this. You get on with your work and before you know it you are along way passed the road blocks you built for your self, you now actually look at new problems as being previously solved ones and project your mind set as having already solved them rather then being stuck. It's a viscous circle i need my hit but it never satisfy's me! I want to solve problems give answers fix things who knows I much feel this way about "product" design and particularly on a CAD based approach. I love CAD and I could sit in front of a machine for 40 hours and squeeze out the shiniest piece of poo possible and never really finish it. When I finish my 40 hour smoke break I'm back to work, I look to take on my critical thinking and go forth on the quest to being able to creatively "design". Then I put my self in a headlock and say well do you really have what it takes to do more then your own expectations? Can you really design and use creativity mixed in with sustainable ingenuity? Can you go beyond a feeling of green design? Can you satisfy our deepest needs without us knowing it? I deprive myself of trying and hence failure sets in.... I want to know that when I look back on myself I will have become what it is I want weather I know that now or not.Product design though does not challenge or fullfill to a comfortable level I want bigger problems!!! Kate and Mario take note of Cachi's words, your both superb why do you ponder the start of your journey when you are building the paths. You started your journey quite sometime ago you will be all that you ask for, because your not waiting for it to come, its like what is that thing that i can't see in the dark in the middle of the dessert? do I touch it or not? So I just want to let it out, that right now I've no faith in my work and Ideas, I love so much what i'm learning and fear it coming to an end. Then being asked to perform. So I guess that I still have to break away from expecting to much maybe just aim for 50% then 100% and more importantly get on with it. Hopefully i will be alot closer to where i want to be then when i started, maybe I have already solved this problem..... Posted by hOuSE on 12:41 PM
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HAHAHAHAH, I'M NUTS I'M NUTS I'M NUTS I'M NUTS I'M NUTS I'M NUTS I'M NUTS I'M NUTS. Ok i shouldn't gloat but that’s the best damm thing i have been given lately and i love it, now i have to improve and go further. On the Topic of sustain i have a submission this friday that requires me to look at sustain and give my two cents worth, dammmm like I've given my 10 dollars worth and yet you ask for MORE! My lecturer, bless her socks called me nuts and is taking comfort in the fact that i'm confused and is waiting to see what i do. HAHAHA who said i was going to anything. Nah, so I have committed to a topic which is the psychology of consumerism, if there is one thing i would like people to realise is that you are free you don't need anything material you will forever be hungry, hollow and depressed you must satisfy your self in the most how can i say $%&#^&(%&*() ways, yes talk to the hand you must.

We shall only every "sustain" when we get back to basics. Why not invest in your self that new shirt won't make you fell better, i have to be the most unfashionable person i now and i love it, Yes i'd love to have the money to buy my toys and santa my list is long but i know from experience I lose interest cause they don't challenge me, they please me for about a minute and yeah. but dammmmmmmmmmmmmmm, when i have to sit down and power an extra one percent of unused brain capacity, learning new things and dealing with challenges fucken hell no drug, desire, female[oohhh i'm flexible on this one] comes as close to the euphoric outcome of which learning does. Take the red pill, free your self but yes blue ones are abit smacky which are fun. Sustain if we could, just spend a little bit of time a day thinking about what sort of people we are and particularly look at our moods while we are working and then come the weekend consider, the transition of your demeanour. Like monday to friday on Swanston street is the gauntlet everyone is so stressed and dead its the worst place to be then friday evening comes and the feeling is electrifying so much love and happiness, I love my weekends and I love my beer but i'm sadden to see people relying much on getting blind rotten drunk to wash away the pains of work and monetary debt and bla bla bla... I don't understand why we get into so much debt for things we don't need and forget the things that we love doing. Seriously so much enjoyment is to be had. Going out late lights and and enjoying our friends is great but its not the only option available to us such as work is not what we should be all about, sham on those who look at kids and are so displeased with them and their enjoyment of the day's events, all they can say is grow up and act your age. You idiots they are acting there age and are growing up don't dare force your misery onto them. wooo your letting alot out here, brain. Why do you hold onto so much?. I finally know what i want to write about i have hijacked BLINK by Malcolm Gladwell of Kate. Its amazing and its giving me insight to what I have been so uncertain of.. sustain begins with the individual the conscious and the subconscious is power full do not avoid it, advertising is not the enemy those who abuse it have successfully mastered a good trick of deception but we are the ones at fault we are in control though we can't be bothered, we allow things to be the way they are. There is nothing that can ever possibly defeat a team that is so in tune with each other unless they begin to believe that they aren't.

Posted by hOuSE on 8:49 PM
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I'm virtually at the end of the year II of Industrial Design and I have already had a reality shock as to how my progression has been for 2nd semester. The whole time I have come to think that graded marks are irrelevant just as long as I keep an open mind to what I have been exposed to and actually experience [backpacking] not being a tourist. So I have been given some progressive marks for some of my work and true to my word I'm getting pass marks, so what’s the issue here? Well I'm not sure but I'm in two minds about my marks and the work that I have actually done. When I think about it I know I have learnt alot this semester, more so on a personal focus, basically I'm my own project. Though I guess what I have discovered displeases me a bit because there is alot more that I should have and could still be doing in terms of qualitative output. I'm not displeased with my learning actually the opposite but rather my lack of attention to detail and discipline as a designer, I seem totally obsessed till the point of putting pen to paper, I yet have not discovered my self [will I ever] or am correctly making the connection between what’s going on in my head and how I communicate this. I know that I'm capable of good things but it's not happening, can I put this down to saying that I'm undergoing the transition, I feel like the ugly duckling and although my peers indicate a positive nature in me, I don't feel it and this won't happen until I personally allow my self to see what’s really staring back at me. So the main thing here is to complain less about all that I have to do because I enjoy them. Its time for me to do what I have come to do, just after I go and have a beer. The good things so far: Approaching situations from a new direction Disconnecting from my work to look at it again from a new perspective Not procrastinating. Planning and wider thinking [boundary shifting] Trying new things The not so good: Lack of discipline Experimentation Everything that makes me feel bad about my work Posted by hOuSE on 11:38 AM
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Luke Mackay

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